When I was growing up, my parents had a garden. They grew carrots, lettuce, peas and tomatoes. They also grew chives.
For those of you who don’t know what chives are, they’re like a green onion and when they bloom, a pretty puffy purple flower appears on the top of the stalk.
My little sister loved chives. She used to go out to the garden and pluck the flowers and eat them. A spicy-with-a-hint-of-sweet treat. This wasn’t really a problem – it’s not like you can O.D. on chives. Except for one minor detail…
My sister and I shared a bedroom. A very tiny bedroom, with bunk beds. In the summer, it would get hot. When it would get hot, my sister would start to sweat (in all fairness, I’m sure I did too). But my sister, she ate so many of those puffy purple chive flowers, that when she would sweat, it would SMELL like chives.
My mom would come into our room in the morning, throw open the window and tell me “don’t let your sister eat any chives today! You could ward off a vampire with that smell!”
Being the perfect oldest (tattletale) sister, I would abide – ratting her and her chives habit out – “mommmmmm, she’s in the garden againnnnnn”.
So why do I share this seemingly pointless story?
For two weeks, three meals a day, I’ve eaten fish. Fish stinks. I’ve eaten so much of it, I’m worried I’ll start to smell like a fish. I don’t think this is an unreasonable fear – considering my personal experience with the chives. I’ve also heard of people who eat a lot of carrots and their skin turns orange – like an Oompa Loompa or a Jersey Shore spray tan.
So now I’m hungry, tired and have a semi-rational fear of smelling like a fish. “Can people smell it in my hair? On my breath? Is it oozing out of my pores?”
Just what every woman wants.
19 days to go.
Smell ya later.