Tag Archives: jax physique

My Miss Columbia Moment

I am an American. And in true American fashion, I love a story with a happy ending. Those movies that just sort of fade to black without any clear wrap up, or even worse, when the main character dies – you can have it.

So as a good American, I would love nothing more to end this part of my journey on a positive note. But I can’t. 

My greatest physical accomplishment to date was diminished this past weekend at the NPC sanctioned Jax Physique competition. The judges announced that I was the winner of my class. Then, they realized they made an error and “took it back” about 5 minutes after I walked off stage. 

I know it’s in poor taste to complain after you lose, but it sucked. 

I could have handled losing. I can handle winning and I tried to handle my “Miss Columbia moment” as graciously as possible. But it doesn’t make me feel any better. I’m sad and mad and angry at what happened and I’m sad and mad and angry at myself for letting it effect me at all. 

What An NPC Bikini Competition is Really Like

To be blunt, the experience sucked. This was supposed to be the cherry on top of an incredible accomplishment. It turned into an embarrassing, upsetting, demoralizing letdown. 

Leading up to this competition, I was so afraid of being the “fat girl”. Because I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me, thinking “oh she lost a few pounds and now thinks she looks good enough to strut around in a bikini”. 

I can tell you, being awarded a trophy, only to have it taken away without a real explanation or apology or anything other than “you didn’t really win, please give it back” is equally as humiliating. 

So, in the spirit of public humiliation, here are some pictures taken of my “fake win”. I don’t feel it’s appropriate to post them anywhere else but here. 

P.S. If Adele is looking for new material, I’ve got some she can use. 

1 Week Out from NPC Bikini Contest


I’m torn between “holy shit, I wish I had three more months” and “holy shit, I cannot wait to eat something besides chicken, fish and spinach“.

I can definitely feel the effects of eating low carb during this NPC Bikini prep. Long term, this is not a sustainable diet for me. My energy levels are rock bottom. 

The plus side is that I give zero f***s about 90% of the things going on around me, which is probably the first time in my life. 

You want to cut me off during my morning commute? Don’t care. 

You want to show up 10 minutes late to a meeting you called with no prepared agenda? Whatever.

Basically all of my energy is spent standing upright, so I have nothing left for any bullshit. I feel like I’m living in someone else’s body. Not only because my body doesn’t LOOK like my body, but also because normally I am SUPER passionate about basically every little thing there is to be passionate about. This includes (but is not limited to) a proper way to put spoons in the dishwasher. However, with this mood altering low carb diet, it’s like I get to try out being someone else. 

I bet my blood pressure levels are great right now. 

.Except when I remember I’ll be on stage in 7 days. Then a lightening bolt of fear strikes through my body. The hairs on my arm stand up and I think “probably should have gotten laser hair removal there too”. 

But since I don’t have the energy to care, I don’t.